Seeking Wisdom

DAY 1- Proverbs 3

Today is the first official day of my 30 day experiment. I hate that word... experiment, because it makes me think of something I'm going to "try" for a while. Rather, I want this to become a new part of my daily existence, not a short term project. I need this time to spend with the Lord so that together we can make positive changes to my life... so I can find wisdom for living.

This morning the alarm went off at 5:00 a.m. and I was surprised at how quickly I got out of bed. But I was determined not to 'blow it' on the very first day by falling back to sleep. Getting showered and dressed first then sitting down at the dining room table seemed to work best for me. I am just so groggy in the morning.

Since I'm not sure how to best utilize this time, here's what I did today. I began by reading Proverbs 3. I read it twice to see what called out to me the most. Wow... there are a lot of wise statements in this chapter. Many of them I've heard my whole life, but didn't realize they were all from this chapter.

The very first verse reminds us to keep God's teachings/commands in our hearts. When was the last time I memorized any scripture? When I was a kid in Sunday School? No, maybe in college. Anyway, it's been a long time and I don't know how many I still know. But that needs to change. I think the more I have God's words in my heart and on my lips, the closer I will walk with Him and the less I will stray when tempted.

Proverbs 3:5 was one of my mother's favorite verses. She used to write it in letters to me in college, or sign it on the bottom of birthday cards. It tells us to trust in the Lord with all of our heart and not to rely on our own understanding. Also to acknowledge God in every aspect and activity of our lives, then He will make our path straight. I think that's all I really am searching for right now... a straight path that I know the Lord wants me to walk down. He doesn't say it won't be bumpy or challenging (ie- uphill?), but it will be absolute. I will know for certain that I'm walking on His path, not straying aimlessly into dangerous lands. That is the comfort I am seeking. I may not see where the path is going, but I want the assurance of knowing that God has prepared this path for me and I simply need to keep moving forward. What peace that will bring! I'm finally realizing that I'm a terrible navigator, and yet I've avoided God's path for my life for so many years. No wonder I've seemed to get nowhere. Starting today, I need to rely on God's directions and pray earnestly that I will stay on His path.

Much of the rest of Proverbs 3 talks about seeking wisdom and understanding, and the uncomparable benefits those bring. I think the previous paragraph pretty much demonstrated how little wisdom I currently possess. I am realizing just how stupid, arrogant, and selfish I have been for too long. I have denied the plans, blessings, and guidance that God has had for me for too many years and have tried to 'do it all myself'. Clearly that's not been working too well.

So, beginning today, I am searching for wisdom. Not the world's wisdom, but God's pure wisdom as I attempt to put my life on the right path. I know God has a plan for me (and a much better roadmap). Today I will attempt to stay on His path, trusting Him with my whole heart and leaning not on my own understanding.